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Father's Reflection 8.13.23
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Hello all!As I mentioned in my homily last week, one of the key signs of a healthy spiritual life and church community is the daily discipline of praying in silence for at least 15 to 30 minutes. If we are consistent, this practice transforms us over weeks and months!Another key indicator of a healthy spiritual life is regular confession, which is probably one of the hardest things for Catholics to do, and for good reason, because it is hard to talk about our biggest weaknesses out loud with another person!Based on my experience as a penitent and as a confessor, here is another little guide that I put together a few years ago to help parishioners go deeper in this crucial sacrament of healing. Whether or not you feel comfortable coming to me to confession, I hope that this helps you in your next confession, whoever the priest may be!In Jesus’ joy,Fr. JoelWhy go to confession?1. Jesus set it up that way and gave the power to priests (see John 20: 22-23)2. We experience the burden being lifted saying our sins out loud and hearing the words of absolution3. We grow in humility confessing to another person4. It breaks or at least weakens the power of satan and temptation over us5. We receive special grace to grow in and overcome areas of weakness that we confessHelpful tips for confessionHow often?Monthly is the golden standard for frequency of confession. That may need to be more frequent if the struggle against serious sin continuesAsk the Holy SpiritSometimes it is helpful to use a “guide to confession” or make an on-going list of sins to bring to your next confession. It is always a good idea to ask the Holy Spirit in the 5-10 min of preparation for confession:“Holy Spirit, where do I need to receive Jesus’ mercy?”Giving contextAs you begin your confession, it is helpful for the priest, especially when the priest doesn’t know you, if you give your general state in life.Examples: married with or without kids, single, divorced, widowed, etc.Also, giving some personal history (but not every detail about your life) that may have an influence on the sins you bring may be helpful, for example, “I’m in recovery; I struggled with pornography for many years in the past; I struggle with anxiety and depression or OCD or scrupulosity; I’m in an intense season at work or home…”Brief and specificName specific sins, but try to avoid giving too much detail, justification, or story around the sin. Also, avoid generalities that don’t indicate the nature of the sin.For example: “Bad thoughts…” Are those angry/vengeful thoughts or lustful thoughts or something else?Sins from the pastAs you grow closer to Jesus and have greater awareness of your past, bring to confession any more serious sin that you may have omitted or not specifically namedNote: if you have already explicitly confessed a sin and it still “haunts” you, it may be a sign that you need to forgive yourself as Jesus already has… “Jesus, thank you for forgiving me; I choose now to forgive myself. Jesus, I trust in Your mercy!”Sins of thoughtAny given thought may not be from us; they can be influenced by the evil one or they can come from God. The devil can’t read our thoughts, but he can implant them.Not every thought is a sin, only the ones we choose to hold on to. If an ugly thought comes to mind, and we resist it and don’t indulge it, then we haven’t sinned.N.B.: It is best to focus on Jesus and Mary and other holy images rather than telling ourselves, “I will not think about…” which only makes us think about those intrusive thoughts more.