Matrimony

We require a six-month minimum preparation process for getting married at our parish. This will include meeting individually and as a couple with the pastor.

According to the Canon Law (the law of the Church), in order for a marriage to be valid, there are certain requirements:

• At least one of the spouses is a baptized Catholic;
• The wedding must be celebrated in a Catholic church in the presence of a Catholic priest/deacon/bishop and in the presence of two other witnesses;
• The two spouses must be free to be married (e.g., no prior valid marriages or any other vow that would impede the spouses fulfill their commitment to marriage);
• They must be psychologically mature and capable of consenting to the marriage; and they must understand the nature of Catholic marriage (i.e., exclusive, permanent, and open to having children).

The Church takes marriage very seriously, because God takes it very seriously. 

Marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and woman and God. It is a tremendous gift from God, and it is a visible sign of His love and commitment to His people (cf. Eph 5:31-32).

Marriage is the foundation of the family and of society, and it is central to the life of the Church. It is also a public act that is celebrated as part of the Church’s liturgy, and introduces the couple into a special state of life in the Church. It creates a permanent and faithful bond between husband and wife, and it establishes significant rights and responsibilities between the married couple and, eventually, their children. It is also the most important relationship in the life of a married couple, and is vital to their happiness and to the happiness of their children.

Because it is so significant, the Church wants to make sure that a couple is properly prepared for marriage, and that they enter into it freely, without reservation, and with full understanding of what is involved. The Church also has an obligation to make sure that the marriage is celebrated in the right way, according to the right forms. All of this stems from the Church’s special obligation to take care of the spiritual health of all of God’s people.

As a result, the marriage preparation process is governed by rules and regulations that are part of the Church’s Canon Law (her universal law), regulations of the Archdiocese, liturgical rules, and particular pastoral requirements of individual parishes and priests. While these rules may seem complicated to those who are unfamiliar with them, most people find them no more difficult than the civil law requirements governing marriage or any other civil or social commitment.

In addition, a couple who goes through this process with an open heart and open mind will find that they will address issues of critical importance to their marriage. In having discussions between themselves and with a priest/deacon or parish staff about these issues, they can avoid problems in the future and have a firmer sense of confidence in their love and in the love of God.

In short, the Church is concerned about your well-being, and wants you to have a great marriage. That’s what marriage preparation is all about.

Source: Archdiocese of San Antonio

For Catholics, marriage is not just a social or family event, but a church event. For this reason, the Church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.

In the sacrament of Matrimony, the outward sign is the exchange of marital consent on the part of a baptized man and a baptized woman. In other words the couple who are getting married administer the sacrament of Matrimony to each other.

The priest cannot administer the sacrament of Matrimony; only the contracting couple can do that. The priest (or deacon) is simply the official witness, representing Christ and Christ's Church. The priest's presence is normally essential; without him there is no sacrament and no marriage. But he does not confer the sacrament.

Source: Beginning Catholic

Parish priests, deacons and other pastoral ministers are available to talk to couples and to refer them to counselors and programs that can assist them. 

The Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas also offers multiple marriage programs, including EverMore in Love. 

Parishes also might connect you with a mentor couple that can help you work through your struggles.

Father Joel

An annulment is a declaration by a tribunal (Catholic church court) that a marriage thought to be valid according to Church law actually fell short of at least one of the essential elements required for a binding union. Unlike civil divorce, an annulment does not erase something that was already there, but rather it is a declaration that a valid marriage was never actually brought about on the wedding day. A declaration of nullity does not deny that a relationship ever existed between the couple, or that the spouses truly loved one another.

It usually takes 12 to 18 months to complete the entire annulment process.

A convalidation is when someone has been married civilly, but due to an impediment the marriage was invalid as a sacrament. The impediment must first be removed, and the couple then makes a new exchange of vows to enter into a sacramental marriage.

The usual impediment would be what’s called lack of canonical form, which is when a Catholic marries outside the Church without permission. In such a situation, a new exchange of vows is performed in the Catholic form in order to make it valid.

The process to have a civil marriage validated in the Church is essentially the same as any other couple getting married in the church:

• Provide sacramental records
• Evidence/testimony of freedom to marry in the church
• Copy of civil marriage
• Normal pre-marital paperwork
• Exchange of vows before Catholic clergy and two witnesses